We all know the type. The guys who are, seemingly always, on top of the world, on top of their game. They know the system, whether it comes to work or women. They know how to charm their way into and out of nearly any situation, whether it be taking a midterm with zero studying or living in some girl’s dorm room for free for nearly two months. Not to mention these charmers always dress well and smell nice, even when living out of a suitcase or stressing out from going through “process” (or whatever its called, I’m not in Greek life) with a fraternity. They always seem to have some women on hand, and this may not be outwardly bragged about, but it is no big secret either. It is simply known. “Yeah, she was hooking up with him about a year ago.” “You wouldn’t think she’d go for it, but yeah she’s been with him a bunch.” “That girl was so pressed on him, but he didn’t want a relationship.” “He played her so bad, kept leading her on, she really hoped he would think of her in a relationship kind of way once she went all the way.”
These top-of-the-world, get-all-the-girls men might also be willing to converse of their ways with you. But, of course, the conversation will be from their perspective.
“I heard she was pressed on you, but you didn’t want a relationship.”
“She really liked me and I didn’t feel the same way.”
“So you just used her for sex?”
“I told her I didn’t want a relationship; she knew the whole time…
I just want to be free and not be tied down…
She’s not exactly my type…
Nice girl, good sex, but I can’t see myself with her…
I’m waiting for the right person to start a relationship with…
I’ve had some bitchy girlfriends in the past I need to get over…
I have issues within myself I need to work out before I start a relationship with others…”
All of the excuses, some of which make sense, some of which may be true. But think, where are these “perfect, relationship-worthy” girls they’re “waiting for”? Do they even exist? Or are these just excuses to make meaningless sex seem more morally acceptable and worth a try?
Either way, these boys are hard to pity. Poor guy, you had a bitchy ex. Better take up that no-strings-attached offer, because you’re not ready for a relationship after what she did to you.
That was sarcastic. Lots of people have had this same problem. Meaningless sexual relations will not fix any self-esteem issues, or make up for the fact that a certain ex was completely terrible and you’re still not over him/her. In other words, don’t speak of self-esteem problems in an attempt to make yourself more relatable, more self-defeating, and less on-top-of-the-world, just as an attempt to garner the attention and understanding of a girl who wants to help.
And by “garner attention” I mean garner sex.
For a minute there a guy who takes 10 minutes to spill his heart’s problems and talk about how he’s really NOT on top of the world might seem like a genuinely good person, but then it always goes back to sex. And the pity thus leaves. What if this is an act?
Coming to the conclusion that it probably is, the girls can move on quickly. He clearly just wants one thing. He’s still on top of the world. Everyone has problems; he’s no exception. He did try to hook up with about five girls that you know of just a week after the special heart-to-heart. See? Same guy from the beginning, through and through.
But…..
Then one night…he cries. Real tears. Well, drunken tears, but real nonetheless. “I’m alone” “People have this idea of me” “It’s not true”
Hmmm…
Still not convincing.
“I’m still not over her. I can’t be with that other girl; I’m still not over her. I can’t deal with this any more. I’m so happy I have a best friend who’s there for me.”
Ok, maybe a little convincing.
This guy is really down, he’ s crashing hard.
And then the guy might throw up, maybe he’ll pass out in a bathroom sink in a frat house.
This very same guy who you wanted to punch in the face for a month you now find yourself taking care of like a small, innocent child. You feel your motherly instincts come out as you rub his back and let him lean on you as you walk to a cab or to another house. How could this poor, innocent, semi-conscious guy be the same one that screwed over so many, including a good friend or yourself? Is he really the same one that spilled his guts to you, only to try other things with you? Maybe he really does deserve pity. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.
But maybe he is.
This guy may be down now, but he will be on top again tomorrow.
He’s down and out right now, but give it a half hour- he may still try to spend the night with you or a friend. Or both.
Everyone has their issues; everyone has their nights filled with emotions and intoxication. And vomit. These things make an always-on-top person seem less so; these degrading things that come with crazy nights and pent up esteem problems have a way of making a high-on-life man seem vulnerable. The contrast between the normal high-on-life attitude and the all of a sudden hard crash into a state of vomit and vulnerability intrigues women. Seeing men vulnerable and being able to take care of them is…well…. a turn on. But please be aware that these vulnerable, passed out guys are going to be (or at least act) on top of the world tomorrow.
Shenanigans and Self-Realizations 