Boyfriend Material

“Don’t worry honey, you’ll meet someone in law school,” my mother said to me one day over winter break. I was binge watching HBO with a cup of hot chocolate, un-brushed hair, and a baggy hoodie that absolutely did not match my Christmas-themed pajama pants.

Gee, thanks mom. Meet someone in law school? Give up on “finding” someone in my undergraduate years?  I’m fairly certain I posted an Instagram selfie later, seeking some superficial solace for my hurt ego.

“Finding someone.” It’s not that I was looking for anyone in undergrad at Pace. In fact, I wasn’t looking for anyone at all, thinking that if I just lived my life and focused on what mattered to me, someone would come to me one day and sweep me off my feet and buy me pizza. I believe that no one should actively seek a significant other. Instead, one should actively seek to live their lives and do what matters to them and what interests them while getting to know different people along the way. Perhaps a friendly relationship will develop into something more, and perhaps not.

But, my mom made a good point. In law school, she reasoned, I would be sure to meet a guy who is attractive, well educated, smart, and a hard-worker- all qualities parents look for in the significant others of their children, and all things that these children should also, theoretically, be looking for.

The underlying point is that this “perfect guy” is hard to come by in the undergraduate setting. Girls complain on campus time and again that the “good, attractive guys” are taken, gay, drug abusers, or just uninterested, especially on this campus with a slightly off-kilter male to female ratio (which is roughly 40:60).

Some girls, amidst complaining to friends and family about the lack of reasonable soul-mate candidates, succumb to the lifestyle of occasional meaningless hookups. The guys at college are rowdy and looking to have fun, many moms would say. A guy worth dating long-term with a stable job, a lovely apartment, and some sort of master’s degree, will come along at some point in the future. Maybe my mom is right and undergraduate girls shouldn’t get their hopes up .

But….maybe my mom is wrong. Romance comes when least expected…right?

Also published in the Pace Chronicle:


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